I am frequently asked, "What is a GAL, and what do they do?" A GAL, short for Guardian ad Litem, is someone who the Court appoints and who is responsible for representing the best interest of children, usually in a divorce or child custody case. In most states, a GAL is actually an attorney, but that is not true in every state.

While most GALS attempt to do their jobs honestly and impartially, that is not always the case. Many begin with the best intentions, but frequently find themselves in territory unfamiliar to them. While divorce and custody cases are usually normal and everyday experiences for them, allegations of child abuse that sometimes accompany those cases are not. If a GAL has no experience in dealing with sexual abuse allegations or parental alienation and they attempt to do their job as they normally would, that would be no different than a foot doctor attempting dental surgery.

To a falsely accused father who is going through a custody battle with his ex-wife, an inexperienced GAL could easily end up being his worst nightmare. An inexperienced GAL is usually nothing more than a "validator," or someone who "validates" abuse either just because the child said it happened, or because it is the easiest and safest thing to do. Shockingly, these validating GALS could care less about looking for or finding the truth.

In the past 20 years I have had the opportunity to work with many fathers who have been falsely accused of abuse during a divorce and/or custody battle and that has provided me with the opportunity to observe many Guardian ad Litems at work. In abuse allegation cases, many GALS are actually responsible for "abusing" children and for destroying relationships between those children and their fathers, especially when they get into a "I gotta save the world" mode.

In a prior case, a GAL intentionally lied to a father. The GAL told the father she had no idea what the results were of a polygraph test the father had taken, when she clearly already knew that the examiner had reported that the father failed the test. The GAL told the father she would rely heavily on the polygraph results, but then stated that regardless of what the results were, she wanted to work toward a reunification between the father and his children. Her statement was nothing more than an act and an attempt to get the father to "confess" to abusing his children. In reality, the father was later told he had failed what we knew was a "trumped up" and "improper" polygraph test. In that particular case, that GAL was obsessed with the father’s guilt and there was nothing he could do or say that would change her mind. She did everything in her power to have that father evaluated and identified as an unstable personality and as a child molester. She failed.

In a prior case, I was working with a mother and against a father who we had every reason to believe had molested his young daughter. In that case, that father was attempting to have his Court ordered supervised visitations discontinued. Amazingly, the GAL in that case sided with the father, and it was our belief that she did so because of his ability to make her and a therapist he was seeing, feel sorry for him. Their attitude was, "This poor man has not been able to see his children without supervision for 2 years." "He just needs time with his kids." It took months, many evaluations and a polygraph before any of the professionals began to see the father for what he was. In the end, the father withdrew his petition to have the supervision removed and he actually stopped seeing his children.

I have seen so many GALS react and respond to "sympathy." Sympathy for a poor mother who has a husband or ex-husband who has molested his children, or sympathy for a poor father who has been deprived of seeing his children. Every case is different and every case should be looked at in an unbiased manner. Without question, the children should be protected, but they should not be destroyed by histrionic professionals who believe they are saving the world when, in reality, they are destroying the children.

In the past, I have had GALS claim that I teach or have taught fathers how to pass a polygraph and how to pass an Abel Assessment. Nothing could be further from the truth. I do not work for, assist or represent any person that I believe has hurt a child. I make that very clear in any case I accept and, in reality, when I work with a client, rarely does anyone know that client more thoroughly than I do. The one thing I do not do is accept an abuse allegation simply because a child said it happened. There is no question that child abuse is real and that children suffer because of it. There is also no question that false allegations of abuse are also real and, when not handled properly, they can also can make children suffer.

Although I have witnessed many biased, unprofessional and abuse validating Guardian ad Litems, that is not always the case. I was involved in a prior case where the GAL was a male attorney who was not swayed by the wife’s histrionics and was actually interested in the truth. In that case, the wife took her 5-year old daughter to the GAL and told him the child had disclosed a game she played with her dad where she and her father ran around naked together, bumping pee-pees. Where that statement alone would have been accepted as fact by most GALS, and the assumption would automatically have been that the father was guilty and a child molester, that was not the case here. That GAL asked the child what she was wearing when she and her father were running around naked together. The child said she and her father had their clothes on. There was absolutely no question that the child had been coached on what she should say, but the problem with the coaching was, the coach assumed the child knew what the term "naked" meant. The child did not and the coach never explained it to her. What a mistake, but thank God that GAL was unbiased, was doing his job and was not swayed by the mother. The frightening thing is, in most cases the GAL would simply have accepted what the child said at face value and once a GAL believes abuse happened, everything is usually downhill from that point on.

In another case, the GAL was a female attorney who had experience in abuse allegations, parental alienation and looked at all facts in the case carefully. Based on her entire investigation and analysis, she found that the mother was coaching the children and she was instrumental in the Courts granting the father custody and ordering supervised visitation for the mother. The Court found that the mother, by her actions of coaching her children to make allegations of abuse in order to gain the upper hand in a custody battle, was an improper and unfit parent to have the children. They also ordered supervised visitation to continue until she could return to Court and prove she no longer represented a danger to the children. Yes, this was my case, and no, I am not praising that GAL because she found for us. I am praising her because she put aside emotions and hysteria, found the truth and protected the children.

False allegations of child abuse are real, they happen and they destroy lives. There have been documented cases where a daughter falsely accused her father and never realized the extent of the damage she was causing until everything was over. Then, out of guilt, she took her own life. One wonders if that would have happened if the "professionals" in that case honestly looked for the truth and had not simply jumped on the "guilty" bandwagon.

A GAL has a very important role in a case and that is to protect children. Keeping children away from a falsely accused father damages children. Children being trained or coached to lie about abuse damages children. The question is, why are so many GALS so quick to validate abuse? As previously stated, "Because most of them have never been involved in a case where a false allegation of abuse was made, therefore, to them the allegation is real." No child would make up such a story and no mother could ever coach her child into making such an allegation, so the father must have done it.

If a GAL believes an allegation of abuse is real, then there is nothing a falsely accused father can say or present to them that will change their minds. A father could take 10 polygraph tests and none would be acceptable because they were not arranged by the GAL or one of their referring experts. A falsely accused father could submit to every psychosexual evaluation known and that would not be acceptable because, again, it was not arranged by the GAL or one of their referring experts.

If you are a father who is going through a divorce and/or custody battle and you have been falsely accused, you will face many hurdles and it is imperative to defend yourself properly, or you could easily be facing criminal charges. Consider the following:

• Assure that you have an attorney who honestly defends you. They can be priceless in helping select the right GAL, or knowing the credentials of the GAL the Court may choose. In some cases, the Court will allow input as to who the GAL will be, so again, that will rest with your attorney.
• If a GAL would probably be assigned to your case, do whatever research would be required to determine who would be fair, honest, unbiased and impartial.
• When looking for an experienced GAL, you want one who has been involved in sexual abuse cases, both real and false. If they have experience in real abuse only, then to them, all abuse will be real. In addition, you want to make sure they have experience and expertise in parental alienation issues or they would never understand or believe that a mother would be capable of teaching or coaching a child to lie.
• An unbiased GAL could be your biggest blessing and you want to assure that if you have a fair, honest and impartial GAL that you cooperate with them completely.
• If you end up with the GAL from hell - one that is simply locked into a belief that you are guilty of abuse, the best advice would be to determine what they would require you to do (evaluations, polygraphs, etc), then find an impartial evaluator that has even more credentials than the expert the GAL would refer you to, and submit to a full battery of testing with them. Once completed, keep the results to yourself until you determine what testing the GAL would require, then submit to it. Now, there is far more to this strategy than I am putting here, but the idea is to beat the GAL at their own game and prohibit them or their experts from completing any test or evaluation on you that has negative results.

Keep this firmly planted in your mind if you are a falsely accused father. Most GALS will simply believe you are guilty of abuse and there is nothing you can say or do that will change their minds. Sit back and do nothing and when they finish, you will have no visitation with your children, you will be labeled a child molester and you may very well be facing criminal charges. You cannot beat the "GAL from hell" by battling them straight on. You just will not survive that. You must outsmart them at every turn, but it must be done in such a manner that the Court will not find fault in anything you have done. The worse mistake I see many falsely accused fathers make is they do nothing as the other side (Ex-wife, therapists, GAL) builds a case against them. Then, when they realize what has happened, they attempt to battle back out of anger and frustration, which plays right into their hands. Again, you outsmart idiots by doing what they least expect, but doing it with respect and with a smile on your face. No father, whose children are honestly important to him, will act in such a manner that puts him or his children at risk.

If you are a falsely accused father, see The Father and Child Custody in False Allegation Cases.

You have accessed one of the many pages here at the Cowling Investigations, Inc., a False Allegation Defense Website. For an explanation of how we assist our clients who have been falsely accused, see Our Expertise, We Can Help. If you have been falsely accused, see What to Do - What Not to Do When Falsely Accused.